It’s often around this point in the new year when that fresh-start energy begins to fade.
You know the feeling. You set out in January full of good intentions, determined to do things differently. But now, just a few weeks in, your goals are slipping and you’re not sure why.
The truth? Most habits don’t fail because you lack motivation. They fail because motivation isn’t meant to last.
That’s where systems come in.
In this edition of Notes from a Therapist, I’m breaking down why so many habits lose momentum and how a simple system can help you build consistency that sticks, long after the “new year, new me” energy wears off.
Step 1: Motivation isn’t the problem, your system is
Here’s the thing about motivation, it’s a mood. It comes and goes, just like any other feeling. You might wake up fired up one day and totally flat the next.
If you’re relying on motivation to get you through, you’re setting yourself up for burnout.
Try this: Instead of asking “Do I feel motivated today?” try asking “What’s my routine for showing up… even when I don’t feel like it?”
Step 2: Set the bar lower than you think
Another common mistake is trying to change too much, too fast.
Big goals sound impressive, but they’re rarely sustainable. When you aim for massive change all at once, the moment life gets busy (which it always does), the habit gets dropped.
Try this: Pick one to five tiny habits, so small they almost feel silly. One sentence in your journal. One minute of stretching. One glass of water. Five press ups. A 2 minute timed break away from your desk.
The goal isn’t to impress anyone. It’s to prove that you can repeat a habit, with ease. Small habits are easier to repeat and repetition is what leads to real progress.
Step 3: Don’t just do it, track it
It’s easy to lose sight of your progress when it lives only in your head. That’s why tracking your habits matters more than you think. Seeing your progress visually can be a huge motivator.
Try this: Keep a habit tracking journal. Habit Notes has daily and weekly tracking pages, but it also encourages you to reflect on how your habits make you feel. What’s working? What’s getting in the way? Where are the small wins?
Step 4: Make reflection part of your routine
Most habits don’t just fall apart because we forget them, it’s usually more likely to be because we stop checking in with ourselves.
Reflecting and reviewing is a key part of habit formation and creating change. When you take time to notice what’s working (and what isn’t), you can adjust, reset and keep going instead of giving up entirely.
Try this: At the end of the week, take five minutes to reflect. What helped you stay consistent? What made it harder? What would you change next week? Consistently reviewing is key to creating lasting change.